Dear Dick and Jane,

My husband and have the most amazing sex almost everyday. It’s fun, it’s passionate, and because of your website it has gotten to be more erotic. But when it comes to oral pleasure, my husband backs out ’cause of a past experience.

Do you have any advice for me so i can help him get rid of his phobia?

Dick of Dick-n-Jane.com
(layman with a website)
Thank you for the kind words about our site and we are thrilled it has contributed in a positive way to yours and your husbands sex lives! This question of yours has really got my wheels turning and I think I have more to say on this topic than a simple email will cover. Maybe I’ll have to develop this a little and turn it into a blog entry. :o)Without knowing what your husband’s prior experience was it is difficult to advise, but I’m guessing one or more of the following topics might cover it.

Squeamish About Bodily Fluids
When giving blowjobs, women generally spit, swallow, or finish with a hand and aim the sperm barrel elsewhere. No matter how it is done, time spent exposed to, or playing with, his fluids is relatively short. For men performing oral sex on a woman it is a more protracted commitment to body fluids and requires he get past any irrational fears. The best cunnilingus is done with lustful abandon, includes every fold and crevice, and is cheek deep and messy. A timid approach is less than desirable for her (am I right?).

If this is his hang-up, give him a napkin. No one would expect him to eat a deliciously messy hamburger without the occasional clean up, would they. Bring a warm, wet washcloth into bed and tell him he can use it on you, his face, he can spit into it, whatever… but he needs to know he can do this without offending you in any way. It will be a crutch he’ll quickly learn he doesn’t need.

Personal Hygiene or Odor
Some people don’t like hair in their food. As much as I love to eat Jane’s pussy, a fresh shave (just the Labia is enough) is icing on the cake. Shave or wax, step out of a hot shower, and serve him a deliciously clean experience. Eventually you’ll be able to take some shortcuts here, but the goal is to get him loving it and get him hooked. Odor should not be an issue, but if it is this may indicate a health issue for you. Assure him you will see your doctor for both your sake.

Performance Anxiety
Goal oriented activities can be a killer. Tell him you do not expect to orgasm from cunnilingus, you just want to enjoy it as foreplay. DO tell him that he should spent at least X minutes doing it though, so he’s not in a rush to move onto other things. Suggest he alternate between oral attention and fingers on your G-Spot. And give him lots of feedback… NOT just positive feedback though. Work in some gentle correction or tips so that he know when he hears “OH MY GOD!!” you really mean it. Suggest a book for him but do not buy it for him, he needs to do that for himself.

Good luck! It was great to hear from you, please come back to Dick-n-Jane.com to let us know how things work out.