It’s on the “Top 5 Favorite Things in the Whole Fucking World” list for all men who have ever woken up from sleeping… it’s The Slow, Morning Blowjob.

Of all the ways there are to start a day (and there are a few), having the sap sucked out of his morning wood is about the best any guy could hope for. Sunday morning, that guy was me.

There was no dog pacing to go outside, no cats climbing on us expecting to be fed, no kids wondering where breakfast was, and no brothers tormenting their sister just to see how loud she could protest. It was a quiet morning in our hotel room. The rising sun bathed us in soft light, the down comforter and pillows felt like clouds, and when Jane’s mouth found my cock I think I heard angels sing. (ok, it may have been the squeaky elevator next to our room but let’s not split hairs here)