The Naked Hug

We practice an astonishingly simple strategy to maintain an intimate connection amid the challenges and distractions of the lives we lead together and apart. Naked hugs.

Simple, intuitive, obvious even, but far too many of us overlook the most basic solutions to our greatest needs. To love, to feel love, and to feel the support of an intimately connected partner is a foundation upon which a rich and rewarding life can be built.

Skin (our largest organ) gives us an invaluable communications tool which transcends language and has the ability to affect our very chemistry; lowering stress levels and raising feel good hormones like Oxytocin. This is not just true for lovers. For an interesting read, click over to NPR: Human Connections Start With A Friendly Touch.

“The conversation between your fingers and someone else’s skin. This is the most important discussion you can ever have.” — Iain Thomas

Adopting the classic American ideology of “more is better”, I suggested to Jane that the regular hugs she was already giving me might be cranked up a few notches in potency if we were both naked. That we should strip down together and go toe to toe, that she should bare her breasts and press them against me because science says it’s for the greater good. It worked. And it works.

We now have a daily commitment to linger naked in each other’s arms, no matter what, and it’s how we end each day (usually in bed). Our touch speaks for us… it expresses vulnerability and trust, love and lust, our history and futures together. It is paradoxically both grounding and elevating and weaves us back together.

As the proud owner of a “Y” chromosome, I’ll disclose that Jane wrapping her naked body around my largest organ is a pretty effective sexual trigger. Well… maybe I give my chromosome too much credit because Jane gets worked up by all the skin-on-skin too. Sex is more frequent (and better) on the naked-hug-a-day plan.

If you try this at home, and you should, keep in mind that sex should never be the goal. It is important to give yourself over fully to the embrace, to feel every inch of skin touching you and to pour love out through your every pore. I believe this is the essence of what we seek in sex anyway, before the genitals interrupt with their very important needs.

Setting aside a few moments each day to touch each other is simple and practical. It doesn’t take practiced communication skills, negotiation, or reflective listening (all important in their own way). Instead, it leverages your own collective biology to reduce stress, defuse conflict, and reinforce long held priorities. It’s free, readily available, and can lead to better, more frequent sex.

The Naked Hug is a no brainer.