Squirting Demo


Jane wants to squirt! She feels the need to; upgrade her orgasmic experience, gain a feeling of release like never before, and forever soak the sheets. My reaction? Like when my favorite jam comes on the radio… Happy Dance, or maybe it’s a Rain Dance, I don’t know which but it doesn’t really matter because I’ll happily do that dance while I’m washing sheets the next day.

Apparently, it’s something you have to learn and, like any sexy intellectual challenge, we approached it with our brains before our genitals. Is squirting legit? Is it just pee? How do you make it happen? And where do I get a waterproof case for my iPhone?

Two great sources of information we (yes, we) reviewed thoroughly are:

BookSecrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation
Video: The G-Spot and Female Ejaculation

It really is something we decided to figure out together. Why? Well, why the hell not? Any pursuit that puts me in the front row for a pussy show is guaranteed to capture my full interest and attention. That, and I’m a gentleman who likes to help his lady! All the instructional advice, however, says she is best to experiment on her own, get comfortable squirting, and then introduce it to her partner. Whatever.

We’ve been married for 21+ years and are comfortable enough with each other that awkwardness, embarrassment, or performance anxieties don’t really factor in. It’s all just a lot of fun to play and discover together. Success or not, the practice pulls us into each other, gets us talking about very intimate things, and bolsters the tight connection that underpins our lasting relationship.

So what are the key ingredients to a good squirt?

Hydration: Drink lots! Wine couldn’t hurt.
Arousal: Get her really worked up. Wine couldn’t hurt.
Rhythmic G-Spot Massage: Focus dude! Skip the wine, let her drink it.
Pushing: Don’t push her, she does all the pushing.

We had a week away together to ourselves (no kids, no Mothers-In-Law) and all the relaxed time we needed to focus on the assigned task: get Jane to squirt, even just a little. We had hydration. We had arousal (boy, did we ever). And we had focused, rhythmic massage on Jane’s G-Spot both by hand and with the best toy for the job.

With two fingers on the correct spot I cycled between; window wipers, come hither, and scissor motions. There we were, in bed, all worked up and going for the big finish! Jane was getting close to orgasm and I was coaching her through with my extensive research on the topic, “push, baby.. push it out, don’t hold back“!

The big orgasm hit and then it happened. And we were both very surprised. And no, it’s not what you think happened. I came away from the experience inspired to pen another very personal blog entry titled, “The Intimacy of Flatulence“.

We laughed, we held our noses, and then we held each other. And then we laughed some more.

Unconditional adoration allows us to be vulnerable with each other. We risk freely because we feel safe and, no matter what happens in the end, our bond grows tighter in the shelter of our shared intimacy.

Not everything works out the way you expect, that’s true with sex and life in general. Laughter is almost always the best way to handle life’s little surprises and then you try, try again.

Correction: There was no nose holding because Jane’s farts smell like fields of Lavender. Thank you Jane, for this correction.