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Jane isn’t what she used to be. Eight years ago she lost nearly 50 pounds. Some of that weight was latent pregnancy fat, much of it was because she married a guy who cooks “delicious” better than “nutritious”.

She didn’t go on a diet, she changed the way she lives. Today, she is a nutrition and exercise junkie with a wealth of information, much of which counters conventional wisdom. She could go on for hours about where the FDA went wrong, what are the best foods to eat, and how to shape a healthy life… much of which I don’t catch because I’m too busy staring at her ass.

The life changes Jane made were not for my benefit, they were for hers. As a result, she is more self confident, feels better in charge of her life, and gained a sexy attitude that lit a fire under our relationship in the bedroom. She did something that (among other things) made her feel sexy.

Many of us go to great effort to please our partners. We do, say, or wear things with the intent to portray ourselves as sexually appealing in the eyes of another when the most effective strategy may actually be a reverse mentality. Do what makes YOU feel sexy… and the attraction will take care of itself.

Lose that extra weight. Get a tattoo. Wear makeup when you don’t really need to. Get a new haircut. Wax your naughty bits. Become an expert at something. Whatever! Find something that makes you feel good about you and do it. While you might not see the outward benefit right away, your commitment and passion will have great appeal to those closest to you.

Get comfortable in your own skin… what that does for you in the bedroom may surprise both you and your partner.