Once Cheated On, Always Cheated On?
Since I started dating until today, I have never had anyone, not a single woman, be completely faithful. Every single one of my girl fiends, my first wife and my current wife of 10 years, has had an extra experience with sex outside or on top of the time we have been together. Sometimes I have known about it, sometimes I have discovered it later through friends and sometimes they have confessed. I have quit being surprised. I have just learned to deal with it.
From my perspective, the phrase “once cheated on, always cheated on” speaks powerfully to me. I have always felt completely attracted to independent strong women, women who can take care of themselves and make their own decisions. Even though their decisions and independence put them in powerful positions to lead their lives in full and me in danger of experiencing conflicted emotional turmoil; feeling of some sort of loss and then success when I win her back. I remain convinced that I don’t own them, I guess obviously.
All of this has put me in an intensely sexual roller coaster ride that has no end that is now repeating itself. I will admit the feeling of winning her back after her indiscretions are very powerful for me.My first girlfriend noticed how much fun it was to have makeup sex. She was honest and admitted to all the specific details of her outside activities after first I discovered her cheating. I guess I too found the makeup sex was passionate, exhilarating, even intoxicating. Since then I have always been honest with my girlfriends and wives. I always have shared that other women have cheated on me, that I have been faithful and always worked to win them back and tried to make the relationship a success. I am proud of this as proof that I am committed to her happiness.
I do keep my current wife “busy” and we are active, but the moments of indiscretion persist, followed by discovery and unbelievable makeup sex. The die seems cast to repeat itself and as I said, I have learned to deal with it. Am I doing the right thing?
Unfortunately, there are no definitively right/wrong answers here; you can only figure out what is right/wrong for you. However, please know that you deserve the same level of fulfillment and happiness in your relationship as your partner does!
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